Money differences in marriage can be quite common.
You might find that your spouse isn’t as interested in saving money as you are. When this happens, it can lead to difficulties as you become somewhat resentful that your spouse isn’t interested in saving money.
If you want to get your spouse on board with saving, you are going to need to take a more subtle approach — one that allows your spouse to catch the vision as well.
First of all, it is important to understand why your spouse is not interested in saving. Does he or she believe that you have plenty of money to cover everything? Perhaps your spouse doesn’t want to curb some of his or her spending now in order to be in a better position later.
Or, maybe, your spouse just doesn’t understand why you want to save. Have a calm discussion about money, and explain your money personality, and listen carefully to your spouse. You’ll be less likely to argue about money.
Once you understand the ‘why’ behind his or her lack of desire to save, you can begin helping him or her understand why it’s important to you.
Setting Common Goals
In some cases, your spouse might feel as though your desire to save will only benefit you. This means that you need to get your spouse involved in the financial planning process at your home. Talk about what you both want to accomplish, and discuss how you can reach your shared goals.
If you both want to go on a vacation, or buy a new car, or build a retirement nest egg, that is something you can do together. Then, together, you can make a plan to achieve. If your spouse feels involved in the decision-making and planning process, he or she is much more likely to get on board with saving.
And you’ll be more likely to achieve it because you’ve created accountability to your savings efforts.
There is no reason to overwhelm your spouse with huge plans to set aside $800 a month immediately. Indeed, it is best to start small. Suggest that instead of going out to eat twice a week, you go out to eat twice a month.
You take the money you save and set it aside in a joint savings account. Go through your spending with your spouse, and look for ways you can cut costs. Start with the small things.
Make sure that you replace the items you cut with something of value. For example, if you aren’t going to go out to eat as much, plan meals together and consider cooking together, or doing the grocery shopping together. You still get to spend quality time together — without spending the money.
Once you and your spouse are comfortable with saving, it is possible to increase the amount that you save. You can even embark on some sort of home business or way of earning supplemental income that can augment your efforts to save more. The key, though, is to do it together.
Pay Attention to Your Tone
Throughout this process, it is important to pay attention to the way you say things. Try not to be accusatory. Use “I” language to describe how you feel, and avoid telling your spouse that it’s his or her fault that you can’t do any of the things you would like — even if you feel like it’s true.
Respectful speech, and language that describes your feelings, as well as inclusive phrases that helps your spouse feel a part of the process, are likely to have better effect than complaints and accusations.