Help Me Fix My Money Problems

Today’s post is all about helping others with their money problems.  Whether it be not living within their means (spending habits), not saving enough, getting in too much debt, or simply being wasteful with money.  This is something that’s weighed heavily on my mind lately.  As I make progress with my own finances, I begin to see others around me who either aren’t making that same progress or who are completely struggling.

“Help Me Fix My Money Problems”

Have you ever had a friend or family member say those words to you?  If so, hopefully you were able to take advantage of that situation and really give them some sound money advice towards improving their finances.  Hopefully they’re in a better place now.

Most of the time though, people don’t come right out and ask you for help.  They either:

  • are too prideful to admit their struggles, or
  • they simply don’t know that they’re doing it wrong.

If you have a desire to see your friends and family have peace and freedom with their financial lives (surely you have that desire for the people you love).  How then do you help these people? Should you stand by waiting for them to come asking for help?  Should you force your opinions on them?  I’m sure it’s somewhere in the middle.  But how do you do it?

As a caveat, let me add that I know there are probably times in my life when I should have done more asking as well.  Not just with my finances, but with my physical, relational, and spiritual life.  So, I’m not above needing help myself.  I’m just finding myself a little bit ahead in my financial life and so I’m stopping to ask this question.

So my question to you today is: How do you help your friends and family with their money problems if they’re not asking you for help?

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Last Edited: February 17, 2012 @ 6:51 pm
About Philip Taylor

Philip Taylor, aka "PT", is a husband and father of two. He created PT Money back in 2007 to share his thoughts on money and to meet others passionate about managing their finances. All the content on this blog is original, and created or edited by PT. Read more about Philip Taylor, and be sure to connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, or view the Philip Taylor+ Google profile.

10 comments
hassan1975
hassan1975

I want urgent financial assistance for liver transplant with no job and no income material and don't know I pay the electricity and water bills, phone and rental home and thanks to those who contributed to and if little to salvage what can be salvaged00201066539090dreamyouth@yahoo.com

Barbara
Barbara

I just got done reading all the above blogs along with the original article. I am one of the ones who are trying to set the goal of achieving financial freedom, but every time it seems it is just in my reach, something happens and I go under again. Like now, I begged every friend and family I know for money so my electric would not be turned off for days before finally the day of shutoff was I able to get the money. If only I had $1500.00 I could catch up and then I could finally start my financial freedom and budget my finances. But until even on bills there is no way to start over. I am in dire straights.

Wishful Thinker

Aspiring Entrepreneur
Aspiring Entrepreneur

I also help them by telling them to visit my blog. I live by example. I share my personal experiences on stock market, how do I save, and my goals in achieving financial freedom. I also share some inspiring stories of successful entrepreneurs and inspiring quotes and articles to help them get inspired.

Aspiring Entrepreneur
http://www.myentrepreneurph.com

Until Debt Do US Part
Until Debt Do US Part

Tough question.

I suppose if you feel that the family member or friend is haeding for a fall financially then it is only fair that you make it clear to them that you think that they may have a problem. The thing is I imagine the best way to do this is in an indirect way. Let them know that you are there for them but don't be confrontational about it.

I think the best thing to do is to lead by example. If other people are seeing that you are managing your finances well they will eventually be cursious as to how you are doing it.

Uncommonadvice
Uncommonadvice

My girlfriend's best friend recently got married. By all accounts the wedding cost upwards of £20,000 and they bought a brand new car only a few months back. One of them is on £18000 and the other is on a little bit more. I really think they are heading for big trouble. I wouldn't have a clue how to help them out without offending them.

Joshua from Debt Aim
Joshua from Debt Aim

Yah... i struggle with this. I just have moron brother-in-law's. My wife's older brother blows his money on sushi, clubbin, and drinking every weekend. Then needs help with car payments, etc.

This story is the worst:
My wife and i both worked $10/hr jobs. We had taken off two weeks each, unpaid, to go on our honeymoon. So not only did we not make a lot, we actually were out 2 weeks of income each. When we get back from the honeymoon, she has a MySpace message from her brother asking for money! Yah, we had money that was gift money from the wedding which wasnt going to him, but other than that, we had just paid deposits for our place, etc etc, plus had no extra money, and he asked on MySpace!

Maybe I am a jerk, but I don't want to help him financially at all, and i won't since then!

Mike Sweeney
Mike Sweeney

I don't think you can help them until they do ask for your help. They may be fine with what they're doing. If you force your opinion, that could strain the relationship. Additionally, money isn't always the real issue. I think if they're interested, they'll ask.

Janice
Janice

I've tried a couple of different approaches. After I discovered Dave Ramsey's books and went to one of his talks, I bought ten books and gave them for Christmas presents to our sons, brothers, and a counsin and her children who have been borrowing money from my mother and not paying her back. Of that group of 10 gifts, 3 people have drank the koolaid. (My sons and one brother.) I bought another group of 17 and gave them to my book group and co workers, after ASKING if they wanted them. Since they have seen my circumstances change drastically, they all welcomed them. I am giving the Financial Peace Junior books as baby gifts and the wedding package for weddings.

I am also VERY open about the dumb, dumb DUMB mistakes I've made over the last 50 years...

BeThisWay
BeThisWay

I find that most people are too prideful to take advice, and that even if it were offered it would not be seen as altruistic - it would be seen as condescending and superior.

So I live by example, share anecdotes about coups and flops when they apply to whatever we're discussing, and of course I blog about things.

Other than that I keep my mouth shut. I hardly ever get in trouble that way.

Sam
Sam

Hi!

When I started my blog, I have those friends you mentioned in my mind. Though they didn't ask me, I know their problems and I thought of helping them using my blog. If you check earlier postings of my blog, it was written in question and answer format to help friends (though not using their own name).

Then everytime I get the chance to meet them, I tell them I just made a blog about personal finance. Hopefully, they will check out and find answers to their problems.

We all make personal finance blogs to help them. If they're too embarrassed to ask us, then maybe we can just inform them that we have a blog that about managing finance and hopefully, that's enough clue for them to find out.

Sam
Fix My Personal Finance
http://fixmypersonalfinance.com/