How to Win the Lottery – Guaranteed 10 Times Out of 10

Lottery Ticket Mega Millions

You’re so lucky…

Lucky that you found this page.

Why? Because I just figured out how to win the lottery and, right now, I will teach you how to do it too.

In fact, I bet that the moment you finish reading this, you’ll be rushing out to play the lottery and buy a Powerball ticket.

Yes, you will.

All of the bad luck in your life is about to change. No more financial worries. Heck, no more worries, period. That’s what winning the lottery will do for you.

Your first stroke of luck was finding this article. But, through some mystical happenstance, you did it, you found this page. That, my friend, is fate. Now prepare to be wowed!

I’m going to tell you how to win the lottery. But first, I will tell you what pushed me to try to figure out how to do it. Then I will tell you why you should trust me that this works.

Finally, I’ll tell you exactly how to do it – How to win the lottery.

How It All Started

I, myself, wanted to learn how to win the lottery. As with anything, when you want to learn how do something new, you find out how to do it by searching the internet (D’uh!). That’s what I did. I searched “How to win the lottery” on my favorite search engine.

This internet search engine provided plenty of results to my query. One in particular caught my attention. It was a system developed by a man claiming to be a professor from Oklahoma.

This professor claimed to have developed a magical formula that guarantees you’ll win the lottery 8-times-out-of-10.

8-times-out-of-10, eh? Nice, but I wanted to win it every time I played, like 10-times-out-of-10. Further, this professor wanted $100 to purchase his system. Ya, right! Like I’d fork over a hundred bucks to buy a system that fails 20% of the time. As if!

So I kept searching. I couldn’t find anything. I decided to figure it out on my own. I figured it out. In a moment, I will tell you.

Why Should You Trust Me

That Oklahoma professor that I told you about makes a lot of money selling his system at a hundred bucks a pop. Why? Because people trust him. He’s got credentials. I mean, he’s a professor… How could you not trust him?

You can trust me too. I’ve got credentials. For instance, I once passed a high school calculus exam without cheating. And, when I watch Jeopardy, I can sometimes answer a question (Or question an answer, whatever).

To top it all off, my mom once told me that I’m the second smartest out of all four of her sons. So you see, I’m smart.

You know what else my mom told me? She told me I’m her fourth best-looking son. Ya, I’m hot! And another thing – As hard as it may be to believe, I’m even better looking than Philip Taylor (If you don’t know who Philip Taylor is, he’s the author of PT Money, silly-head).

Why does it matter what I look like, you may ask? It matters because people that are good-looking are perceived to be more intelligent. It’s true, they did a study.

I’m smart, good-looking, and you can trust me. Now I’ll tell you how to win the lottery. But unlike that Oklahoma professor, I will not charge you anything for this. I will tell you for free.

If you do wanna pay me back, though, just buy me a Dr. Pepper when you win, OK?

How To Win The Lottery

I’m going to give you this information in concise, easy-to-understand steps. I’m going to specifically tell you how to win the Powerball game. However, you can use these steps to win any lotto game, worldwide.

Here we go:

Step 1:: Ask your mom for $2. You’ll need $2 because this is how much it costs to buy a Powerball ticket.

Step 2: Grab your skateboard and skateboard on down to the local gas station. I prefer to go to BP because they’re a company that are meticulous about their offshore oil drilling safety.

That’s important to me. They almost never spill oil into the waters, especially the waters in the gulf of Mexico. But, for you, any gas station will do.

Step 3: Walk into the gas station and look for a multi-colored plastic stand that says “Lotto” on it. Go there. You will find number-selection slips. Take the one that says “Powerball.” That’s the one you need.

Step 4: This is the most important step. You have to pick five numbers from 1-to-59, plus one more number from 1-to-35.

Listen carefully, now. To win the Powerball jackpot, you have to correctly predict which numbers will be drawn on Powerball draw night. Those are the numbers that you need to mark down on the Powerball number-selection slip in front of you.

All you have to do to win the Powerball jackpot is correctly predict the numbers that will be drawn, ahead of time. That’s it! That’s all you have to do to win Powerball! It works every time!

Now you know how to win the lottery – You just have to correctly predict the numbers that will be drawn on draw night. You can do that for any lottery game, worldwide. It’s guaranteed to work every time, 10-times-out-of-10.

PostScript

I’m sure you figured out that this article was overly sarcastic. I did that on purpose. There’s a lot of fluff on the internet regarding systems that promise you’ll win the lottery, if you’d just fork over some dough.

I’m trying to save you some of that dough by, hopefully, persuading you that these “systems” don’t work. Nobody can teach you how to win the lottery, including myself.

With that said, winning the lottery is all about odds. Here are the odds of winning some of the most popular lottery games in the world (And as you’ll see, it’s hard to do):

Powerball:: 1-in-175,223,510
Mega Millions: 1-in-175,711,536
EuroMillions:: 1-in-116,531,800
EuroJackpot:: 1-in-59,325,280
Lotto Max (Canada):: 1-in-28,633,528

Watcha gonna do now? Rush out to buy a Powerball ticket? I thought so!

P.S. Don’t forget to pay your mom back that $2 after you win the jackpot.

This was contributed by Tino, of the now defunct www.BigLotteryWinners.com. The image is mine…and yes, I lost.

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Last Edited: April 19, 2014 @ 9:40 am
15 comments
bourquejared
bourquejared

The true way to win the lotto powerball or any other game is to buy more tickets than posdible outcomes, so say its 1 dollar per ticket, odds r 175,000,000, and the jackpot is 360,000,000, well kust fork over the 176 mill and u r guarenteed to double your money

LucianPheonix
LucianPheonix

HEhe:) great post,but its true though.It is however a way to "predict" or get extremly close to the winning numbers. But you have to know alot about how the entire universe is built up and works to understand that,and most people dont even do that even after studying their entire life:).

 

So ill stick with your post:) 

Joe
Joe

Maybe you both should post pictures and let us vote on who is better looking.  The winner buys the other one a lottery ticket. 

CheckAdvantage
CheckAdvantage

Looks like I'm riding my skateboard to Canada to play the lottery! Sweet odds!

Adaptu
Adaptu

What about the fact that most lottery winners are bankrupt a couple of years after they win?  Doesn't seem worth it to me.

gfds
gfds

Would it be possible to win at blackjack? For example, if you bet $5 and lost, then bet $10 next time. If you lost that round, then bet $20, etc. Keep doubling and eventually you'll win. Definitely not into gambling myself, but sometimes I wonder if there are ways to beat the system, if you know what you're doing. I'd rather save the money by not playing because that way there is no risk associated with it.

Kim
Kim

On the radio today they were talking about how you are 500 times more likely to get struck by lightening than to win the megamillions loto tonight!  Wow, 500x more likely to get struck by lightning!

Financeyoga
Financeyoga

That was great. I love how it really seemd as a cheesy internet sales pich. The odds are why I never play the lottery, instead, I just play the savings game. Nice post.

Tino
Tino

I showed Philip's picture to my mom. She says I'm better looking.

 

Philip, you owe me a lottery ticket.

muspelheim
muspelheim

 @Adaptu As for me, 85% of my lottery winnings would immediately go into an endowment fund for myself and family to live off of.  15% would go towards enjoying the fact that I'm far richer than I was yesterday, and this would last for years and years.  If you win $50, why not be happy as hell that you now have say 10 mil to spend as you please, and treat that as the total?  But, to each his/her own.

laureen
laureen

 @Adaptu  they're bankrupt because they can't maintain the lifestyle. I would choose more influx of cash flow than a lump sum in my bank.

Philip Taylor
Philip Taylor moderator

 @Adaptu That is an interesting statement to make. Are you saying that you know you would go bankrupt? 

gfds
gfds

never mind, I just researched and it's called the "Martingale" technique. Not really practical because there are betting limits but interesting nevertheless.

Black Card
Black Card

 @Financeyoga If only everyone saw it this way lol.  We humans have a serious problem with thinking that the laws of the universe will bend for us.  Probably a religious thing.

Philip Taylor
Philip Taylor moderator

 @Financeyoga "The Savings Game". I like that. FDIC makes you a guaranteed winner every time!